My wife wanted me to go on a visit to the museum. She was excited about it. When she told me about it, I was excited too. I was also watching a Dua Lipa video and checking my Ebay listings. Because of what happened following our exchange, I’m pretty sure I was the victim of a common audio dyslexia called digitally induced cognitive karma, also known as DICK. Yes, I was DICKed.
Talk about the surprise me and my DICK had when we got to the museum. It was NOT an exhibit of the original cover art for A. E. van Vogt’s 30 some odd science novels. Instead, it was approximately 50 original Vincent van Gogh paintings.
I suppose some historical perspective is in order. On the one hand we have A. E. van Vogt, a very famous science fiction writer of the mid-twentieth century. He was one of the premier voices of the “golden age” of science fiction. On the other hand we have Vincent van Gogh, some European artist.
I did not mention this to my wife, and she did not comment on my strained smile as I forked over $40 for tickets. I am so glad I kept my mouth shut. As I started reading about van Gogh’s life alongside his paintings, I realized the amazing similarities between this painter and myself.
1. We’re both male.
2. Both draftsmen. Actually, he was a draughtsman. Potaytoes, potahtoes. He could probably draw industrial fan and heating systems with the best of them.
3. We both had fine art careers that lasted 10 years. His ended upon his death. Mine ended when people who love art threatened me with death.
Here’s the kicker!
4. Vincent van Gogh cut off his ear. While walking through my garage one day, a spring sticking out from the garage door mechanism hooked me in the ear where I dangled like a fish on my tippy toes. After calling my wife and talking her out of calling 911 and the press, we (and by “we”, I mean “she”) got it out.
Simply uncanny.
As a public service, I’ve included some pictures here to help prepare you for the subtle differences between the cover art of van Vogt’s books and van Gogh’s paintings so that no one will be confused when they are asked to go see an exhibit concerning either, even under the influence of DICK.
Look at each of these and determine whether van Gogh or van Vogt are responsible. Write down your answers for A through I. The correct answers and the name of the book or painting are below all of the images. Don’t peek.
A.
B.
C.
D.
E.
F.
G.
H.
I.
As you may have already suspected, I've played a little trick on you with this quiz. They are all, of course, by Vincent van Gogh. Here are the titles in order:
A. Buildings With Sunshine
B. Olive Grove With Picking Figures
C. Combative Woman With Lance
D. Peasant Woman Against a Background of Wheat
E. Seductive Woman With Palm Fronds
F. Still Life With Irises
G. Colorful Woman With Monocle
H. Tree Trunks With Ivy
I. Cat With Tentacles Against a Purple Sky and Yellow Clouds
Hope you enjoyed the quiz. Have a good day and don’t get DICKed.
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